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Engaged Couple Mentoring Program

Contact Mary and John Mazzuchi
703-960-0569
Mazzuchijf@aol.com

What is a mentor couple and what is their role?
What is the Couple Mentoring Program at St. Charles all about?
What are engaged couples saying about the program?
How do we know this ministry is for us?

What is a mentor couple and what is their role?

A mentor couple represents the church community by demonstrating their life experiences as a married couple to an engaged couple preparing for the Sacrament of Marriage. Through a series of meetings with a set format, couple-to-couple interaction takes place in the privacy of the mentor couple's home. A mentor couple facilitates and helps the engaged couple talk through issues they will face during their married lives together.

What is the Couple Mentoring Program at St. Charles all about?

A core requirement for a couple to be married in the Catholic Church is to receive formal preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage. As part of the broader Pre-Cana Program in the parish, the Couple Mentoring Program has been uniquely designed to give the engaged couple the opportunity to examine and share in private on issues commonly encountered during marriage.

Unlike the format of a group weekend session attended by several engaged couples, couples meet one-on-one in the comfort and friendliness of the mentor couple's home. There are four sessions consisting of two-and-a-half hours each on a flexible schedule. Strict confidentiality at each session is maintained - what is said in the room stays in the room.

Although a good amount of couple-to-couple interaction takes place at each session, most often the focus is on the engaged couple who is given significant time to communicate or dialogue on various areas impacting their marriage. The role of the mentor couple is merely to facilitate and initiate that sharing by providing examples of their own life experiences in areas of communication, finances and career, family, spirituality, and sexual intimacy that often pose challenges and create issues in a relationship. In preparing a couple for the Sacrament of Marriage, the mentor couple gives a personal view of their own relationship and about their marriage in general. The mentor couple also demonstrates how their Christian faith has indeed helped them to grow closer together in their relationship - and closer to God through prayer.

The mentor couple does not pretend to have a perfect marriage nor have all the answers yet commits to keep working to make their own marriage better and to share that journey with the engaged couple. Marriage requires trust, confidence, and unconditional love for one another. The mentor couple conveys that critical aspect of their relationship to the engaged couple; therefore, both relationships are strengthened during the course of sharing.

What are engaged couples saying about the program?

“The open communication from our mentor couple helped us to discover deeper feelings for each other and gave us new knowledge to equip us for a richer marriage experience.”

“We really appreciate the time and effort you put into this program. It was helpful for us to share some of our experiences and to talk and write about a variety of topics. Now we're really looking forward to starting our life together.”

“This program provided us with a valuable opportunity to view our expectations about marriage in a realistic light, helping us to know each other better and to grow closer together. We learned about aspects of marriage we hadn't really talked about before. The warm comfortable environment provided by our mentor couple allowed us to be open and honest, making us even more sure of our relationship as well as strengthening our bond to each other and to God.”

How do we know this ministry is for us?

Fr. Robert Ruhnke, author of For Better & For Ever, states, "Keep in mind that we are not looking for 'perfect couples.' If you know from personal experience the 'good times and the hard times' of marriage, you will be more credible when you share your experiences with engaged couples." Fr. Ruhnke poses several questions to a couple who is considering becoming a mentor couple:

1. Are you in a canonically valid marriage?
2. Does your lifestyle give evidence of your faith and commitment to your marriage?
3. Marriage preparation is a team effort that involves the cooperation of clergy, parish staff, and other mentor couples. Are you willing and able to work with others, and be part of a team?
4. Have you been married at least 3-4 years?
5. Are you committed to growth in your own marriage relationship?
6. Are you committed to growing in your understanding of your partner rather than trying to change him/her?
7. Are you able to say that your marriage is not in need of professional therapy?
8. Are you open, empathetic and flexible? Would you be open to seeking help if one of you thought that you needed it?
9. Do you have a sense of humor?
10. Do you pray regularly? Are you willing to deepen your prayer life together?
11. Are you willing to continue to learn about your marriage, your faith and life in general?

If your answers are "yes" to all of the above, then perhaps you are being called to be part of this ministry! Contact us and we can chat more. You will be blessed!