Inspired by the news that the U.S. Army will now allow all its personnel to wear black berets-the signature headgear of the elite Ranger units-a group of parish priests billing itself the Redheads is petitioning the Vatican to permit all clergy to wear red hats, the trademark symbol of cardinals. Redhead spokesman Fr. Fedora showed reporters sketches and fabric swatches of the cardinal hats that may soon be available to all priests. He noted that the red hats are "edgy and classic retro," and that all clergy would benefit from wearing such hip accoutrements and accessorizing their traditionally all-black-with-a-touch-of-white attire.
Cardinal Number, speaking on behalf of the college of cardinals, took offense at the proposed standard issue hat, calling it "pointless and copycatting." Unlike the bishop's miter, the cardinal's hat is pointless, appearing rather like a soft stubby crown. When told his group was being a copycat, Fr. Fedora responded "Liar, liar pants on fire."
The cardinal said he also opposes the Redheads' proposal because it would further erode the distinctive and unique nature of the cardinal ensemble, which dates to the 13th century. Other groups have encroached on the cardinals' domain, first when the St. Louis Cardinals began wearing red baseball caps and then when New York's crime fighting Guardian Angels started sporting red berets.
Cardinal Number did confirm that if Pope John Paul II approves the petition, the college would then order new hats in another distinguishing color. "While it's much too early to speculate on what color that would be," he said, "I think teal might be a nice choice."
A dejected Ann-Mary Kofmann explained, "I was hoping my offer of $1,000 to the winner would help, but it hasn't." All that's happened is a suspiciously large number of adolescent boys hanging around the parish office asking if she needs any help, reported Maryann. The Micheline 2saint contest is next: spell her name correctly AND guess which days she's at St. Charles. (Hint: for over a year, it's been Mondays and Wednesdays at Dominion Hospital, and Tuesday, Thursday, Friday at St. Charles.)
Interfaith
Meeting with Wiccans a Success
St.
Charles expanded its outreach to other faiths by sponsoring a luncheon
with the McLean Wiccans, who volunteered to decorate our cafeteria.
